How I lost my Virginity.

The year was 1983, the time was January, I never kept a journal of these things but I remember it was a cold saturday in January of 1983. I was 13, and 14 was rapidly approaching. I was still in grade school. I was attending a catholic school on the upper east side (St Hatefull of the bloody Sacrifice or something) . I was 6 feet tall, 215 pounds, had a shadow of a mustache, was kind of goofy (ok i was very fucking goofy.) I had too much hair and no hair style. I dressed for failure because, we were poor as sin, and my dad’s idea of buying me a pair of jeans was going to this place in Spanish Harlem were he could buy me a pair of fake Jordache Jeans for like $8.

I was the anti everything of attractive. If attractive were standing in front of you, I would have been the shadow on attractive’s backside lol. Not only was I not attractive, I was also a huge clutz and once fell over tying my shoes, as if gravity had tossed me about. Like, while tying my shoes I did a complete backward tumble, how? I will never know. Sadly to make matters worse, I had huge fucking hands! I mean huge fucking Gorilla paws for hands. If my hands were used to model anything, they would have been used to model that years latest strangler gloves, or serial killer weaponry. Just huge freaking Sasquatch paws! I had to still grow into my hands even at 6 feet, 215 pound. In grade school the girls all teased me and called me a monster and said I had hands like the missing link. That bad, sigh, lets not even get into the feet.

My dad would show me off at parties like some sort of side show freak, as If I were the elephant man. He would complain jokingly about, look at his feet! If he were normal sized he could wear his brothers hand me downs, but this kid is a giant! Look at those paws, do you know his hands are so heavy, that while tying his shoes they caused him to tumble over, it’ crazy I tell you. Feeding him, clothing him, we should just put him in cage lol. They would giggle and my dad would wink at me like, look Grape Ape get used to it. My dad was so proud that his little petite ass could make such a huge fucking kid. As if to say, look at what my gigantic sperm created. I may be small but I create big, he was so cute, what a dork lol.In the future I hope to post  a pic so you all can see the size difference. Sigh my little family, they are all so short and, I am the only one who knew or could see what was on top of the refrigerator lol.

Back to me losing my virginity. So now that you have a pretty good idea of how much of a mess I was. Let me just say, this night was of legend, well to me. So it was a cold saturday afternoon in 1983, my brother was the man! He had a full head of hair (hehehe) he was short 5’7 but thin and very handsome. My brother was the ladies man! He was a DJ at parties and some small clubs all over the city. He was also drinking and probably using every substance known to man and the drug culture of 1983. H was master of the party, the lady killer, the panty thriller and he was engaged lol. he was never around much, spending most of his time with his friends or girl hanging out partying. This particular saturday his girls parents were away in Florida, and they were throwing a huge bash at her house. YAY! Her parents had a house in the Bronx and it was huge!

It was a three family house with a full basement, her brother and my brother wired the entire house for sound with huge 18 inch sub woofers and speakers of all sorts. This place probably was Americas first sound generated weapon. Anyways, I knew about the party, and my brother was a very private guy, but i pestered him about it all week long, and I offered my services as a slave all week too. "Come on bro, let me go, I can do all the heavy lifting, I can fetch stuff, i want to see all the hot girls." my brothers response all week was "No, get the fuck out of here leave me alone!" and his pother response was, "Please stop using my colognes! You don’t need any, though we did find you in a pile of garbage behind the hospital, you no longer smell so bad. So please leave my cologne alone!" Now mind you my brother was a bit O.C.D. with his possessions. He would know if you touched them because, he had everything perfectly placed at certain angles, that even an asian math wiz would not be able to calculate. If anything of his was moved he could tell, and he would precede to either scream at me, or try to beat me up. I was too huge to beat up, which he learned one faithful day the summer before. Though he cracked me over the head with a bat lol. Yeah we fought a lot! The day he hit me with a bat though, he learned a hard lesson about Gorilla children lol.

So, my brother out of the kindness of his heart asked my parents if I could go. They being tired of my dumb ass always being home, or of me coming home from work bored, sent me on my way with him on the the New York Subway system. Now if any of you have ever seen pictures of the New York Subway system of 1983, it was nasty! Graffiti every where, homeless  people, syringes, crack heads, escaped mental patients,  on every train car lol (there were no tourists at this time, nor any white people riding the trains past 125th street, unless they were looking for drugs lol). It was insanity and, I loved it. I mean come on, I was getting to go to a grown up party, no parents around, Ahh yeah, it was going to be crazy fun.

So when we arrived all my excitement hitting a high point, i was placed on garbage duty, and told to stay out of peoples way and to basically just hide myself. Sigh, i was just a huge embarrassment, and fodder for all their jokes for the first 5 hours or so. My brother was doing a kick ass job spinning records on the turn tables mixing up a storm, sneaking off to drink, and use whatever other substances were available. The house turned into a murky, dark, strobe  lights everywhere, beat pounding smokey cesspool of lustful intent, it was like a scene out of the movie Clock Work Orange. I was getting a contact high, and sneaking drinks. It was a fun night because, after about 4 or 5 hours they left me alone to my own devices and I was up to no good. I was drinking beer at first, then Rum and Cokes. Smoked some weed for the first time. Umm I was high, drunk, and goofy! Not a good mix, then I saw her looking at me.

She was 5’3 at best, very pretty, awesome Latina body, think Jennifer Lopez, with slightly bigger breast, and omg, a set of the most beautiful lips i have ever seen. Her name was Rosa, and she was wearing (LOL.Sorry) and leopard print miniskirt, black knee high stockings, some sort of easy access low, breast revealing top. She was talking to my brothers, future brother in law at the time, she was asking him about me. He probably was giggling himself to death, inside as he brought her over to meet me. He introduced us and told her i was young, “Mark is only 16 ( in truth i was 13) Rosa so you can talk to him but no touching, he laughed.) Rosa laughed and said ” Why? I promise to not bite him”, they both laughed and and I giggled reportedly, why? cause that’s all I had to rely on was my big, doofy, goofiness, and my Lenny from Steinbeck’s of Mice and Men tard strength.

So Rosa is talking to me about stuff I can’t remember, and we are both drinking it up, smoking more pot, having fun, I have the social skills and lab rat, so I am basically just standing there smiling and being a dork. She on the other hand was asking me things like what high school do you go to, and I named one of the local catholic highs schools. She went on to tell me she was in her first year of college at one of the local community colleges, taking some courses and I probably said something like “oh cool, I hope to go to college one day” Anyways, she does something amazing, she starts leaning in on me more and more as we talk, and touching me here and there, and everywhere. I am I am getting higher, drunker, and just starting to float. I guess I started to feel like that line Body electric line from Walt Whitman. I was just ready to explode. You have to understand something, all the girls from my school treated me like a big ugly gorilla, they called me names, they said I was a monster, yet here i was about to be kissed by a hot girl, at a hot party, in 1983, listening to the hottest club music. I was in heaven!

So Danny, my brothers girlfriends, brother says to “Roasa, so you like Mark huh?”; Rosa smiles and looks up at me and says” oh yeah I like him alot.” he doesn’t say much, but he is cute, in a goofy cute kind of way” I was cool with that, I was goofy, I knew that, acceptance of my goofiness was the key in this situation, even my dumb ass knew that. At this point i was so high this chick could have had a penis and I would have been fine with it. She was hot and interested in me, I had no issues, she could have called me a cocked faced, ass munching, tit gremlin and I would have been fine with that too. So Danny said “well ya know Rosa, the rooms upstairs are empty so if it gets to loud for you guys and you need to be alone with Mark, you can always go up to my sisters room.” My jaw dropped, as soon as she said ” really? “Mark lets go upstairs and talk some more”, as she winked at me. I just nodded my huge Frankenstein head and off we went.

I will never ever forget the stair well was of a mahogany colored wood, that rich reddish wood that made me felt higher and drunker. I remember looking up at her ripe round ass and thinking it looked like the juiciest apple I had ever seen, wrapped tightly into a leopard print mini skirt. i was also so nervous, because though i had seen porn many times, though i have watched Al Goldsteins midnight blue a million times while up too late, while my parents slept and I jerked off in the living room hoping not to be caught. I had no clue what Rosa was up to, and I was clueless with girls, cause I had only been kissed once by a girl my friends used to refer to as CHUD! and even she said “Mark I kissed you cause I feel sorry for you”. YES, Even CHUD, made fun of me, sigh lol. BTW C.H.U.D. stood for Caroline Humberto Unclean Dweller, sad I know, she was a dirty ass, who had roaches in her fridge. Hence the moniker CHUD was born.

Now, Rosa and I sit on the bed, and she starts kissing me, with tongue! OMG! of course you can figure out what that did to a 13 year old boy, I had an erection that caused me to get dizzy! She noticed and giggled, she asked me if i was a virgin, I said " gulp uh huh” She laughed, asked me if i were nervous, and do I mind that she is not a virgin, all i remember is nodding my head no. We started making out, she said “ooooooo in a drunken moan of delight you have soft lips papi, and some animal instinct took over me and i picked her up and placed her further in the bed and got on top and started making out with her. Thank God for gorilla strength, I used it well, but i had no clue as to what the fuck i was doing after I picked her up. She took over and flipped me on my back, she was strong for a little thing. She got on top we made out some more, then to my surprise she stopped kissing me and i was like WTF? I mean we were making out dry humping, I was accepting my blue balls future, when she went down on me and started to give me head for the first time in my life!

Now, I do not know about other guys, but the first time my umm member entered her mouth, well it felt like a rainbow shot out of my ass and at the end was a pot of gold and a leprechaun! I was stunned, I laid back and was bewildered by this never, felt before sensation, till her drunk ass scraped the tip with her teeth but, I remained calm and didn’t flinch at all. Hell she could have bitten off the tip like in the movie the world according to Garp, and I would have still been quiet. I remember thinking OMFG! this is amazing my first blow job, i can’t wait till school on monday to tell everyone, hell, I might even get to school early and write it on the Black board and draw diagrams!

Rosa stripped my fake Jordache jeans off of me and then got on top, lift her skirt, pulled the panties to the side, and what happened next, can only be described as a thermonuclear explosion of confused young boy, and frightened, confused child. I can only remember this hot warm feeling come over my phallic warrior  and, I was in absolute bliss, I was seeing all types of colors, and wondering if I needed to go to confession about this. She rode me like an equestrian champion, like Secretariat, like well I had no frame of reference she fucked me stupid. Then almost as quickly as it started it ended. Rosa had an orgasm, then passed out on top of me. We laid there for like 40 seconds, I had this goofy shit eating, confused grin on my face. I was like OMG did i just have sex? That was awesome!

Then it happened, Danny and some of his friends opened the door started laughing out loud and pointing, and Rosa popped her head up looked at them smiled, looked at me and got a weird look in her eyes, then puked all over my right shoulder and face, and fell face forward into her own vomit and passed out. Sigh, now i was under the impression that when a woman had an orgasm, she would throw up on me. What makes it worse, was the song playing loudly at the time was Chicago’s if you leave me now. As that played in the background, people laughing at my limp best friend slowly sliding out of Rosa drunken body, as she laid in her own puke, on my puke covered upper body, this magical tune played, and they laughed. I wanted to die, but what could I do. I rolled her gently up off of me, and laid her next to me, I  picked myself up and took  a shower, as they all said things like ” yeah boy, welcome to man hood, hope you didn’t get her pregnant, and i was like I didn’t even get to cum…. Sadly, I would not experience an orgasm via sex till I was 19 years old. How shitty is that? Six long years till I came, six years of whats wrong with me, and girls going oh you last a long time. YUCK!

In truth, I didn’t have sex with another girl till i was 17. Four more years of being rejected by every girl I liked or had a crush on. Sadly I was a romantic, and a huge, ugly  Gorilla. Not a good mix, and all my friends were these short skinny dudes, while i was this huge guy. By the time I was 15, I was 6’3 and all my friends were like 5’9 at best. i stood out like a sore thumb, just a big dipshit. I never spoke much in public, I was too shy, I never smiled and I never looked a girl in the eyes. I was just a big awkward Gorilla, and I had no game. I once asked a girl to dance at a high school dance and she just laughed in my face and said no. I was hurt, but then i watched her fall flat on her face cause she was drunk lol. I spent most of my teen age years, playing sports, playing dungeons and dragons with my geek friends. Jerking off as much as I could, hell I whacked off so much you would have thought i was in training for a masturbation world tournament. I would have came out in a American flag robe, lube in one hand, a special speed enhancing glove on the other hand, made of some exotic wind resistant material. I will say this, i was a big doofy awkward kid, but now when I show women pics of my teenage years they want to sit there and tell me how hot I was, WTF. sigh.

Well that was my “How I lost my Virginity story”. YUCK I’m such a dork!

TILL NEXT TIME.

M.A.R.

below are pics, lets call them the progression of me, through my teen years. YUCK! and some pics of the NYC Trains I grew up with.

This is me at 13 with my pitbull king

This is me at 14 at my grade school graduation from St hatefulls lol

me at 16 with my aunt Aida.

me at 17 camping. stop staring at my crotch! GEZUS perverts

me at 18. umm i don't know what I was thinking.

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